Kasey Hitt, MDiv, CSD
  • Home
  • About
  • Offerings
    • Spiritual Direction
    • Dreamwork
    • Reiki
    • Silent Retreats
    • Groups & Seminars
  • Wisdom Tree Collective
    • Train to be a Spiritual Director >
      • Spiritual Direction Program Information
    • Retreats, Classes & Groups
    • Planting Trees
  • Schedule/Pay
  • Events
    • Sign up for E-news
    • Register & Pay for Events
  • Writing
    • Blog
    • Prayers
    • Liturgical Year >
      • Advent Audio Divina
      • Advent Guided Prayer
      • Longest Night Service
      • Lent
    • Video & Audio
    • Retreatants Only
  • More
    • What Others Are Saying
    • Spiritual Direction Disclosure Form
    • Reiki Client Information Form
    • Common Questions & Answers
    • Resources >
      • Quotes
      • Links
      • Recommended Reading
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact

A Middle School Bus & A Reputation to Uphold

9/5/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
​Who are you not being or what are you not doing because you fear how you will appear in the eyes of others?

What reputation are you trying to uphold?  

I've spent tons of energy on my good, Christian girl image for as long as I can remember.

And being in ministry my whole adult life has not provided relief.  At times, this has intensified the inner critic that reminds me that I have a reputation as a Christian leader and spiritual guide to uphold.  

Quite frankly, I've given way too much thought as to how things like changing my theological stances to not-every-Sunday-church-attendance affect my reputation (case in point, I just gave way too much thought in writing this sentence!).  

I have often chosen rule-following over following my heart.  And the many times I have boldly followed the still, small voice within, my inner critic who abides there as well, has often stolen, killed, and destroyed the freedom found in the following.  Fearing outer criticism causes such unnecessary inner turmoil!  

Some say we begin to care what other people think in middle school.

My daughter started middle school this year.  She told my husband and I that she wanted us both to be at the bus stop with her.  I thought after the first day or two she would probably like us to remain at a safe distance.  I was wrong.

She wants us there everyday and even wants a hug before she climbs into the bus!  Part of me loves this.  And I have to admit, even though she feels not a hint of embarrassment, a part of me feels a twinge of it for her as I see the other middle schoolers looking out the window of a full bus.  Maybe I'm feeling over-protective (if she won't protect her image, I will!) or maybe it's the middle school girl in me still caring what others think.  Why risk it?  
 
One morning last week I sat at the kitchen table after an all-night headache with little sleep. I told her, "Your dad will have to go with you to the bus stop, I don't think you'll want me along." She said, "Why not?"  I said, "Look at me, I'm still in my pajamas!"  She replied, "You had a hard night, of course you are, but I don't care, it's not like I have a reputation I need to defend!"  

I looked at her bewildered.  Have I ever not thought I had a reputation I needed to defend?!

Then I held up my hand and said, "You need a high-five because you'll be good to go if you can keep that sentiment through middle school."  She laughed.  Oh the freedom to authentically be who you are and do what your heart desires no matter what others think!  

We both walked her to the bus stop (although I did change out of my pajamas).  

After she climbed on the bus, I looked at my husband and said, "Who is that child?" Then I told him how her response immediately ambushed my weary heart, speaking into my own life of places where I've been overly concerned about how I appear in the eyes of others. 

If a middle school girl can wholeheartedly choose what is inside over what others think of her on the outside, then perhaps I can, too.  Oh the freedom!  God knows it's time.  

By the way, the next morning she pointed to us and said, "I may not have a reputation to defend, but let's not do this again!"  We had unknowingly put on matching t-shirts to walk her to the bus stop!  I appreciated her authenticity.  Both of us cringed as the bus drove past.

1 Comment
Gail Luecke
8/6/2019 07:13:59 am

Priceless 🧡

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Kasey is a scarf, ball and club juggling spiritual director just outside of Nashville, TN.  Play helps her Type-A, Enneagram 1 personality relax, creating space for poetry and other words to emerge. She also likes playing with theological ideas like perichoresis, and all the ways we're invited into this Triune dance.  

    Archives

    February 2023
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016

    Categories

    All
    Advent
    Anger
    Animals
    Art
    Atonement
    Awareness Examen
    Beauty
    Body And Movement
    Body Of Christ
    Centering Prayer
    Children
    Community
    Conscious Breathing
    Conversation
    Creation
    Darkness
    Discernment
    Divine Feminine
    Dreams
    Easter
    Epiphany
    Faith Development
    Freedom
    Gratitude
    Holy Spirit
    Holy Week
    Image Of God
    Imagination
    Intercession
    Jesus
    Juggling
    Justice
    Lament
    Laying On Of Hands
    Lectio Divina
    Lent
    Liturgical Year
    Love
    Meditation
    New Year
    Pain
    Perfectionism
    Play
    Poetry
    Prayer
    Presence
    Saints & Mystics
    Scripture
    Shame
    Silence
    Spiritual Direction
    Spiritual Growth
    Spiritual Practices
    Suffering
    Surrender
    Thanksgiving
    Theology
    Vocation & Calling
    Wisdom
    Wisdom Tree Collective
    Worship Music

    RSS Feed

Schedule your own session or read What Others Are Saying!
Picture
Sign up for E-News
Picture

By clicking “Sign up for E-News” I consent to the collection and secure storage of this data as described in the Privacy Policy. The information provided on this form will be used to provide me with updates and marketing. I understand that I may modify or delete my data at any time.
  • Home
  • About
  • Offerings
    • Spiritual Direction
    • Dreamwork
    • Reiki
    • Silent Retreats
    • Groups & Seminars
  • Wisdom Tree Collective
    • Train to be a Spiritual Director >
      • Spiritual Direction Program Information
    • Retreats, Classes & Groups
    • Planting Trees
  • Schedule/Pay
  • Events
    • Sign up for E-news
    • Register & Pay for Events
  • Writing
    • Blog
    • Prayers
    • Liturgical Year >
      • Advent Audio Divina
      • Advent Guided Prayer
      • Longest Night Service
      • Lent
    • Video & Audio
    • Retreatants Only
  • More
    • What Others Are Saying
    • Spiritual Direction Disclosure Form
    • Reiki Client Information Form
    • Common Questions & Answers
    • Resources >
      • Quotes
      • Links
      • Recommended Reading
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact