By the end of December, I was exhausted.  The joy of journeying with the first cohort in Wisdom Tree Collective's School of Spiritual Direction (more about that next month!), was overshadowed by a deep weariness.  And I was dragging..   

My repeated tries to get away for a few days of rest and relaxation?--thwarted!  So, I took a vacation from social media and spent a little time listening to my life (and body). 

What I discovered was over-commitment and way too high of self-imposed expectations for any mere mortal.

You may know this feeling well.

I did not simply need a week away from my everyday life, I needed to change the rhythm of my life every day!  

That became (and is) my prayer this month: to return to the "unforced rhythms of grace" that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 11.  

With that prayer has come the awareness of how I'm out-of-rhythm:

• Operating out of false urgency (like checking email way too much or working way too late)
• An exaggerated sense of responsibility (leaving my neck & shoulders feeling "the weight of the world" which no one asked me to carry)
• A need to do things perfectly (according to whom?!).  

​Such self-awareness can leave me feeling overwhelmed.  Creating space or learning anew seems like another responsibility.  

A spiritual practice that helps soften the hardness and let go of the heaviness in the moment is writing haiku, a 17 syllable, separated into 5/7/5, poem.  Here are two of the six I wrote last week:

When too many words
Are swirling within your brain
Pour them out in ink

Come, laugh a little
Release the seriousness
Everyone needs play

These simple poems helped me focus my overwhelming feelings into three simple lines revealing my soul's wisdom for the present: Pause, write and play. 

Others revealed practical ways of shifting energy and attention, letting go and opening up. 

Space was being created in me! 
This allowed me to see the gifts being offered, like a friend suggesting a children's book on breathing (scroll down to learn more).

Maybe haiku is something for you, too. 

It reminds me of Jesus' invitation to become like a child (especially when struggling under the weight of being an adult)!

Two people in my life are facing a terminal illness.  And here’s what else they have in common: gratitude. 
 
Every time I talk to them, whether a simple conversation or in spiritual direction, I am amazed at the depth of their gratefulness. 

Their faces light up. 

It is like their diagnoses gave them new eyes to see life.  And they are overwhelmed by the beauty right in front of them.  Even more so, they are overwhelmed by the peace of God inside of them.  The windows of their souls reflect it in such delightful ways. 
 
“Every day I wake up so happy!” one exclaimed to me (without a single relationship or situation changing in their life).
 
How is this possible? 
 
Much of it is pure gift.  Grace. 

And some of it, I am sure, is because both have done inner work in the years leading up to this moment. 
​
They learned how to listen deeply to God and how to listen deeply to others.  They entered into meditation and mindfulness.  They learned to play and be playful.  They sought out spiritual direction and a precious few others to accompany them along their inner journey. 
 
Now their outer journey reflects what they cultivated within.  Awe.  Humor.  Peace.  Kindness.  Joy.  (Just to name a few)
 
I am honored to be a witness.  They are teaching me a lot.
 
One of their gifts is reflected in the Sufi poet, Rumi's words, “I saw grief drinking a cup of sorrow and said to it, ‘Tastes sweet does it not?’ Grief confessed, ‘You’ve caught me and ruined my business. How can I sell sorrow when you know it’s a blessing?’”
 
If you have no idea how sorrow can be a blessing and if you do not wake up happy, maybe it is time for an inner journey of your own.  There is so much to be grateful for in this life.  

Sometimes the way we ask a question impacts how we answer it.
 
My friend, Norman (from my blog last week), decided to continue to play with the words, “simplicity” and settling,” by sending an email out to friends and getting their responses.  He received 18 replies!
 
Norman asked them to consider “simplicity” and “settling” and respond first in a word or two, then in a sentence—what do they meant to you? 
 
Notice the way he took the same words and asked a different kind of question than I had at the beginning of this series of blog posts. 


He did not start with contrast as I had when I asked, “What do you think is the difference between 'simplicity' and 'settling'?”  Instead, he presented them in a neutral way to call forth personal associations with each.
 
Consider the nuance. 
 
The tone of my question (especially if you heard me ask it) leans towards “settling for,” rather than the state of “being settled.”  His question left both possibilities open. 
 
Before you read some of the answers Norman received, take a moment to sit with his invitation to reflect on what “simplicity” and “settling” mean to you.  What comes to mind when hearing each word?

• Jot down a word or two for each.
• Write down a sentence for each.

 __________________________________________

Now here is a taste of the answers from this diverse group including professors, pastors, a women’s issues advocate, an engineer, world travelers, and more...
 
Simplicity in a few words:
Grace
Least complicated
Intuitively understood
Peace
Back to basics
 
Settling in a few words:
Resolved
Established
At peace with God
 
 
Simplicity in a Sentence:

• The least complicated, most efficient form of an entity, not complicated.
• Putting God truly first in everything I do; it is not easy but Jesus gives the necessary provision to follow (Matthew 6:25-26).
• Appreciating the small things.
• I am a seamstress and my mom was a seamstress so I had a flash of a Simplicity Pattern (for making clothes), but then the thought quickly went to simple, dialed back, easy, no stress, enjoyable.
• Something is not complicated – it is simple—sometimes I also think of it as one not going into too much detail in explaining something.
• Absence of complications and complex details.
• Being content with not having a lot of fancy things or stuff to deal with.
• In the German language the English word “Simplicity” has two meanings; therefore, it depends on the context in which the word is to be used – one translation means simple without meaning simple but easy. The other definition is naivety and as well fatuity (stupid, simple, single).
• "Simplicity" has different translations depending on the context, like the word “love” in the Greek has three translations. 

 
 
Settling in a Sentence:

• I am happy where I am and with my circumstances at this time of my life.
• An understanding has been reached—it could mean you feel good about where you are in life in a place.
• Going deep and thinking/reflecting on a matter to gain a deeper (versus superficial) understanding of what God is saying on the matter, i.e., let it settle with me for a while.
• Having come to conclusion, decision reached, the end of the discussion.
• That condition where no other action or thought is required.

 
Did you notice how he received more answers for the word “simplicity” than for the word “settling”?  Why might that be?  Perhaps the word “settling” is not as simple! 
 
May you, like Norman, reflect, play, and pray with these words (and invite others into the fun!). 

Feeling stuck with a looming decision? 

Stuck in or overwhelmed with a feeling? 

Curious to discover the wisdom in your nighttime dream (perhaps about your looming decision!)? 

Or maybe you resonate with my daughter who recently said, "I just can't do words or thinking right now."

No matter how old you are, it's time to get out the playdough!  (or clay or Model Magic, your choice) 

And no, you do not have to be an artistic type of person!  Let that inner kid of yours who knows how to squish, twist, pull, flatten, bend, and roll grab a handful of playdough.

Now pick one of these 3 practices and see what happens: 
Awareness Examen with Playdough
Notice what literally and figuratively emerges as you enter into this 16th century prayerful review of your day or week. 

1. Hold your lump of playdough or clay in your hands (you might hold it close to your heart) as a prayer of openness to God and to God's wisdom within you.
2. Looking over your day or week, when have you experienced heaviness, darkness, being stuck or blocked? How would you image that moment?  Begin to move and shape the playdough in response to the feelings &/or image.  Your eyes can be open or closed. 
3. When you are ready, stop, and let your creation "speak."  What did you notice in the process? What meanings, feelings, connections stir through your shape/image?
4. Either mash and roll it up into a ball or take another handful of playdough or clay.
5. What moment felt light, flowing, open, or effortless today or this week?  How would you image that moment?  Begin to move and shape the playdough in response to the feelings &/or image. 
6. After a bit of time in the silence, stop and let your creation "speak."  Again, notice what you felt in the process. What meanings, feelings, connections are stirring (or being stirred up) through your creation?
7. How do the two images "dance"?  Does the heavy speak to the light (or vice versa)? What wisdom is being offered to you?  Give thanks for whatever you receive.

Moving Through Feelings with Playdough
Rather than trying hard to let go, discover what happens when you move through your emotions.

1. Decide to set a timer or "go with the flow."  
2. Connect with whatever feeling you are stuck in and begin moving the playdough in response (as slow or quickly as you desire).   -Or-  If you are feeling numb, just begin moving the playdough however it feels natural for you to do so.  Maybe you form a shape or simply continue to mold & move, whichever is fine.  
3. After the timer goes off or you come to a natural stopping place, spend a few moments reflecting on the experience.  Compare how you feel now to when you first started.  Looking at your playdough, what do you notice?  Is there an invitation being offered to you through the image &/or process?  You might let it shape your prayer &/or journaling.

Sculpt a Dream Image
Dream images are often metaphors and symbols of different parts of ourselves/our lives.  They offer us wisdom for waking life as we tend to them.

1. Pick an image you are curious about, afraid of, or desire to know more about from your nighttime dream.  Then sculpt it!  If using white clay, you might add color with markers or gel pens or paint it after it dries. 
2. After sculpting, consider how the sculpture reflects your dream image (how is it similar or different?).  What additional information does it hold for you?  What did you notice about yourself during the creative process?
3. Set it in a place where you will see it often, allowing for deeper insight as you continue to rest your gaze and awareness on it throughout the day.

Who knew playdough could be part of our spiritual practice and way of discernment?!  Playdough is not just for kids!  Actually, it's for all of us kids at heart who often get stuck in our heads yet are open to the creative, childlike ways the Spirit offers freedom and wisdom.  

Spiritual practices, like meditation and even church-going, can become spiritual bypass—ways of bypassing reality both outside and inside of us, dissociating from wounds within and without, ignoring the healing work that needs to be done in our inner and outer world. 

But spiritual practices can also be vehicles for transformation of both ourselves and our world.
 
How?—by giving us new ways of seeing and being (which is the whole point of authentic spiritual practice). 
 
Let’s take a look at a few practices... 
  
Conscious Breathing: With as little as 10 slow, complete exhales and 10 full, relaxed inhales, we can calm the fight, flight, freeze survival impulse, allowing us to move from a reactive, closed off, defensive place to a receptive, open, deeper place.

Centering Prayer: Through daily practice of 20 minutes of silent surrendering to God’s presence & action, we let go of our ego-drivenness and receive inner healing of compulsions and soul wounds.  Not only does this bring personal freedom but it releases us from projecting our compulsions and wounds on others and passing them down to our children.

Lectio Divina: Spiritual reading allows a word or phrase in a small portion of inspired text, whether sacred Scriptures like the Psalms or a poem, to speak to us. Rather than bringing what we already know or studying it, we allow the text to study us!  As we bring our story, our lives, to it, we humbly listen for the wisdom and guidance being offered (which may be encouragement to see a counselor or write a letter to your senator!).     

Awareness Examen: Looking over our lives at the end of the day through the eyes of God helps us become aware of God’s life-giving presence and action (and the times throughout the day when we were unaware or resistant).  The patterns of what is life-giving and life-draining help us discern who we are and what we are to offer this world.

Silent Retreats: Extended time in silence and solitude creates space for our souls to rest and play which opens us to better hear the “still, small voice” which may be drowned out by the external noise of daily life or the internal noise of comparing ourselves to others.
 
There are so many practices I could list here but the point isn’t the practice itself, it’s the “fruit.”

Seated meditation may not fit you.  You may desire some kind of moving meditation, like dance or qigong.  Or you may prefer to spend time in nature or doing art. 

What practices have you found that cultivate love in you?  What helps you have eyes to see and tend to the suffering both inside yourself and in others?  Which ways of wisdom help you discern what is yours to offer this world (not out of compulsion but compassion)?  A Spiritual Director can companion you on this journey of discovery of spiritual practices.
 
But remember, it’s not necessarily the practices, it’s the humans who are transformed by these practices, that this world needs.  What do spiritual practices like Centering Prayer offer a hurting world?—YOU!

Everywhere I look
there is clutter
and imperfection

Whether inside or outside
Yes, inside or outside

Do you work  
to contain, clean,
remove and improve it?

Or do you accept 
such a state?

Either way, 
all I see is
work.



___________

• Do you ever have days when inside or outside your house or inside or outside yourself, all you see is clutter and imperfection?
• Do you ever have days when everything, even acceptance, seems like work?
• What would happen if you realized that a clutter-free, imperfection-free life is neither possible nor more holy than a life of perceived inner and outer perfection?
• What helps you relax and even have fun in the midst of clutter and imperfection?