Honestly, I don’t.
As a Spiritual Director, I’m looking and listening for spiritual “fruit” in your life rather than whether or not you’ve checked off or formalized any religious rituals or beliefs.
And while both can be meaningful, they are not requirements for relating to (& being loved by) the Sacred Presence. In other words, your spiritual life happens with or without them.
While they can be meaningful, they can also be areas of spiritual wounding.
Let me give examples from my own life because saying a “prayer of salvation” does not appeal to me for three reasons:
Maybe you have had a wounding experience around this as well. If so, I am sorry.
There is nothing “saving” or “sacred” in manipulating people into believing what you want them to believe (even if well-meaning, it is still manipulation!).
Plus, it’s simply not creative. Jesus did not have one way of being with people and inviting them into freedom and wholeness. Methods and "laws" often by-pass the sacredness of relationship by making people projects that need saving.
Years ago, a woman once bemoaned in spiritual direction how she had tried to “save” her brother but feared he was not “saved” before he died. I asked her tell me more about their relationship. She told me about his disdain for God and the ways she had still loved him through the ups and downs of his life. It was clear that she had loved him well and he knew it. Her kindness in caring for him, especially while he was dying, was evident.
I looked at her and said, “Wow, I am amazed by your care for your brother! You do know that the way you loved him means more to God (& your brother) than any of the beliefs you shared or any prayer he could’ve prayed. Plus he had good reason not to pray it and he did not need to, you were the face of God for him and he loved you.”
I want to explore this a bit more next week. But if you desire Spiritual Direction, know that you do not have anything to prove and I certainly do not want to manipulate or burden you. Instead, I will listen to the ways you have been spiritually wounded. And together, we will look for the fruit already present in your life, already waiting to be tasted and tended to. It has nothing to do with whether or not you've said the right prayer or done the right ritual.
Kasey is a scarf, ball and club juggling spiritual director just outside of Nashville, TN. Play helps her Type-A, Enneagram 1 personality relax, creating space for poetry and other words to emerge. She also likes playing with theological ideas like perichoresis, and all the ways we're invited into this Triune dance.